The Voice from the Shore
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Mentors take pride in guiding their mentees to success. They can provide opportunities, experiences, and activities. In addition, sometimes mentors need to share direct messages: Don't do that! I have had many times in my life where someone took the time to help me avoid a disaster.
I was taking a photography class. My assignment was to demonstrate "perspective." I was in Florida, and it was a beautiful day. A landscape photograph would work perfectly for the assignment. One thing about landscape photography is that well-intentioned photographers take snapshots of stunning landscapes, but without care, they can look visually boring. Perspective is important. How could I make my photograph stand out? Then I saw it: the beautiful Indian River Lagoon.
Walking the shoreline gave me many examples of perspective, but I was not satisfied. I kept saying to myself, "Anyone could snap this photo." Nothing stood out as unique. We've all seen the shoreline at sunset, the light reflecting off the water.
Then it came to me. I could walk out into the water. The view would be different, and the light was right.
As I walked into the water, it gradually deepened, but I was surprised that even 100 feet offshore, the water was only up to my hips. The strategy of wading was perfect. I started moving around, looking for that perfect shot. I found it, but immediately heard a frantic voice calling to me from the shore.
While looking through the camera viewfinder, I had not noticed the man off to the left of the shoreline. He delivered an alarming yell, "Hey, you! Hey! Get out of there!" I became focused, but then it went to a whole new level. "Sharks," the man called out.
I grew up in Pennsylvania. I waded into countless streams and lakes. I have extensive experience exploring Pennsylvania's waterways. I never had to worry about sharks, but I was not in Pennsylvania. I immediately forgot about my photography assignment and started walking towards the shore.
As I was walking, I didn't see any fins - that was a good thing. But my comfort level was still low because I couldn't see very far into the water. It's funny how your mind works during stressful situations. I immediately considered that there could be sharks all around me in the dirty water, below the surface, and that I would have no way of seeing them, but maybe the man had. The man from the shore acted with urgency as he continued to shout, "Sharks!"
Luckily, I made it to shore without any shark bites. The man came walking up to me, shaking his head. He was grinning when he commented, "You must not be from around here." Relieved that I was still in one piece, I smiled back, without confirming that I was from Pennsylvania, but instead requested, "Tell me about the sharks. "
The man explained that this part of the waterway was abundant with fish. There was an industrial plant not too far up the shoreline, which made this part of the waterway warm. With warmer water came more fish. The sharks could not resist coming into the lagoon because of the fish.
Without the man's warning, what might have been the outcome? I certainly would've stayed in the water longer and completed my assignment. Staying longer probably would not have ended with a shark attack. Sharks usually do not attack humans. However, why take a chance?
It was nice of the man to share some advice. He may have helped me. His warning did change my perspective. I looked at Florida waters with more respect and caution.
Mentors should be the voice from the shore. We can direct our mentees away from danger and bad experiences. Many youths will react just as I did and seek to understand: why are you warning me?
In the same way my photography instructors engaged me, we should provide mentees with opportunities to gain a different perspective. Young people need experiences and the chance to succeed and fail. They will learn a great deal from doing things. Let them find their way. Let them wade out into the water when safe.
However, part of our job should be to ensure they avoid the huge, shark-like problems associated with these experiences. Here are a few mentoring fundamentals to consider:
Realize that you are the voice along the shore. You have a responsibility to provide directions when needed. Include in your directions the fundamental principles associated with the situation.
Be prepared for your mentee to ask questions. Mentees will ask questions, and that is normal. You have an opportunity to stay optimistic with your mentee.
It's rewarding to see young people try new things, even challenging things.
In my book, Mentor Them or They Will: Expert Advice for Youth Mentors Who Teach Self-Discipline Life Skills, I emphasize that mentors must guide young people away from impending mistakes, problems, safety issues, and obstacles. They need to hear it from us because they may not get the same information from others, especially peers.
Listening for the voice along the shore is good advice for mentors and mentees. We all need to stay alert and listen to those who can warn us about dangers underwater, whether it's sharks or other problems in life.
Mentoring Perspective:
We should never take for granted how important it is to plan learning experiences for our mentees. Just as important, we need to communicate the fundamental principles of every situation that might cause harm to those we are mentoring. Mentors are teachers. Mentors must take the role of the voice along the shore and show courage.
Questions:
Compare the voice along the shore story to a personal experience in which someone who cared about you directed you away from disaster.
If you are in a leadership position, what are the different ways that you can communicate with your team about dangers ahead?
What proactive principles did the man along the shore demonstrate?
Based on the story of the man along the shore, what are some leadership principles we can take away?